We tend to be quite tough with ourselves. I see, it's also hard to fall in love with our spectrum in the mirror. Keep your strenght, not to your enemies but to bear all the pessimism you put upon yourself.

It can be bitter

You can't stop saying things. No matter what, you MUST say those ones. Otherwise, how could I know? 24 hours have passed and I still don't know.

No matter what: SAY THINGS. We can't just let it go, we don't have such power of guessing what the other person is feeling. If you wanna love: be careful. And say how do you feel.

Remember: be sweet

Many changes, guys! New background, new willings are about to come.

All I have to say is: ENJOY IT! Life, music, friends, books, especially books (and alcohol!)! I hope to be more committed to this blog next year. I don't know if it necessary or even if YOU need it, but if I need it, I' ll be here.

Don't go blind. Be sweet.

Through the darkness... you see the stars.

Hello people worldwide. It is a brand new day and it is still dark here. In the last few days, some specific things have been bothering me a little. Actually, not so specific things. I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable maybe it is what the narrator of Notes from Underground called the excess of consciousness that men go through sometimes. In some cases, I wish I could live my life without thinking so much about what I should be, where I should be now, doing this or that. The subject is always the same, right?

The fact is I'm trying (I don't remember since when) to stop suffering for foolish things. I won't hurt myself with troubles that are not mine. Few years ago, maybe three years, whatever, I heard some good words (I won't mention here where) that made me feel really better about my life. But now, it is like a disease. It comes and goes. I can't say I'm unhappy now... it would be stupid!

The only thing that matters is to keep a place for the real self. The real you. If this is the only space I've found to do this... great. It is what it is. My attic.

Is that hard to accept things?

You know, for a long time, I've been running from ghosts that I had never the interest to know better. I know they exist but I can't face them, and when I'm alone I try so much to understand what I feel inside. It's not that simple because your life wants something and sometimes you don't have any idea how to do that.

I know that now, well much time ago actually, I'm a big girl. And the fact is that I don't need to do things that I judge so boring just because people think I have to behave like that. I won't.

I'll keep drinking a lot until I can't stand myself up, I'll keep listening rock songs and hanging out all night long with friends, talking shit, whatever. I don't give a fuck for that.

I should be like this, I should be like that. Doesn't matter. This is what I am and if I can't accept this so I better find out a way to match these two girls inside.

Happy b-day, your freakie one, your freakie thousand here inside.

=*

It's kind of

A desperation that doesn't let me sleep at night...

Then I crawl, then I scream (inside)
Then, somehow I realize that it's pretty cool to be alive.

I don't know myself lately but I'm fuckin' making efforts for that.

You can't see my eyes

You can't see my eyes now
But it's not because my face is hidden behind my hair or something
The main reason is that you finished their light.

Their single light...

Well I don't know what to do with myself

Like the White Stripes' song!

It's like a Hollywood drama! I wake up feeling fine and in the end of the day (sometimes, not always!) I feel awful, confused, I can't explain. And I just don't know what to do with myself!

I try to disguise my pain with my poems and my songs, but, why do I get so sad? I don't have reasons for that and I'm sure of that.

Then I start to search for some alternatives to get the pain away and I think I can do it good because I have my blogs to write on and so I feel fine again.

I don't give a fuck if I'm writing in the "right way", the fact is, the main true is that I'm all songs now.

And it's fine.

I just wanted to know why
Do I shiver when you come next to me
When you smile and say hello
When you look at my eyes
And say...

I swear I try to understand why
When I look at you
Birds seem to sing
All the sweetest songs in the world
Then I stand
Then I fly

All the answers I want in this world
Are all behind your green eyes
It's between your lips
It's when my mouth kisses
Your sweetest kiss

And I'm going to drown in the sea
That green sea that makes me stare
The green sea that makes me smile
Close my eyes and pray
Please be one more day with me...

Killing the past and coming back to life...

Today was a tiring day. I don't know why but I want to write something here now.
I've had a terrible test in the morning...so boring, so tiring, I'm almost dead right now. I worked, I had classes at night. Too much information, much things to do and think.

Sometimes I think that I have to let it go away. Forever and ever.

I'm not thinking straight... I'm missing something. But I don't know exactly what it is...

Why so beautiful?

Well she tried for a few days to keep her eyes far far away from him. But it was almost impossible. He was chasing her, looking at her...staring at her.
That day, it was a...let me see...a sunny autumn afternoon. The sun was shinning so high and the birds were singing...what a perfect scene...

One day, between her sheets and books and things to do, he looked so deep at her that she could feel his breathing even being so far from him. She could smell his straight and brown hair and she could touch without feel his hands and his mouth.

Maybe it could be a special love story. But love doesn't exist. Unless I pretend one.

Just in my imagination... so right.

Writing a short story

Well, in our classes of Reading and Text productions we had to create a short story that started last week and we continued this week. It was really fun and we could improve our vocabulary so much.

Guess who was my mate? Alisson, for sure. After a lot of fighting, arguing, kisses and crazy things we realized that we've created a cool horror short story...and we can't wait to write the end. I will publish here when we finnish the damn fuckin' short story!

:D

That's it!

It's never too late to say hello!

Hello guys...I know, I've been away from this space but let me explain! I was so busy and I still do. But it's normal...grad's life suxx. I have to keep going.

I've been enjoying the classes, I decided my researching's subject...things seems to be going to the right place again.

I don't know if I'm well or not. The only thing I know is that I have so many special people in my life. I've already knew that alright? But now I'm just...seeing it so real.

Why I'm always getting hurt for nothing? Crying and bleeding for nothing?

Today, when I'll go to sleep, I'm gonna put all my sadness below my pillow. And when I´ll wake up tomorrow, all this sadness will be gone. Because this is how these things supposed to be. Buried. Buried in a deep ground.

Whispering...

I thought that once
The two of us could be just one
I know that not seems so easy
But no one can say nothing like this
Everything's always hard
And it will be for a long time
Because I want touch but I can't
Want to kiss but I can't
Want to hold but I can't
The only thing that I can do is just can't do anything about it.

The Smiths

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well. Enough said.
I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Oh ...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
See, the sea wants to take me
The knife wants to slit me
Do you think you can help me ?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
Handsome groom, give her room
Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly
(Though she needs you
More than she loves you)
And I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Over and over and over and over
Over and over, la ...
I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me, and said :
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight ?
I know ...
'Cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms..."
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind
Over, over, over, over
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind
Over, over
Love is Natural and Real
But not for you, my love
Not tonight, my love
Love is Natural and Real
But not for such as you and I, my love
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can even feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...



I thought that would be nice to put one song here...because my fellings aren't alright.

See ya.

Previously on LOST

Hey you! I'm finally going to see the second season of LOST!

I know, I'm late! But, it's never too late, right?

Well...see ya! o/

And lady stardust...

Well, well...today I'm not so good with feelings. I'm feeling sad, whatever...

It's always this same damn thing when the reality gets so close to me...

Oh sweet nuthin'

Today I'm gonna be very brief because I have some other things to do (like my homework!). But, at the same time, I have so much to say...well, it's better be quick now!
In the morning,at college, we saw a movie called "Freedom Writers" based on a real history. It's about be a teacher in a place with so many kinds of people, with the most various realities.

In the afternoon, I've worked soooo much! I'm serious oukay! I really do my job as best as I can do! :P

Finnally, at night, we had the class of Reading and text productions. It was very great. Acctually, I have to confess, I'm loving my new teacher Neza. She's very funny and she's talking to us, making us feel comfortable to take part in the class. So great! This class that I'm talking about will be very important to improve our reading and writing, to me it's two important skills. Now I'm thinking of be an English teacher one day, I'm asking myself, why not? Acctually, I'm already teaching English but I know that Literature is my passion.
Well, I have a lot of time to decide what I really want to do.

So, I think that's all! See ya!

Just to say hello!

As an English language student I've created this blog to improve my writing, for sure to start thinking in English is very important. And, I thought that it was the best way to start.
This is just the first one. Anyway, I have to start thinking and feeling in English...it seems soooo complicated...but (BUUUUTTT! always!) I'll try!




See ya! o/