To love is to take care and to be patient.

Sometimes, you're the only one who really cares and need to be patient. Otherwise, there's no way to bear the load of being so alone.

Back to the clock's slavery

The university holidays are over. I'm really sad about that... I know, last year I was willing to attend the classes as soon as I could. But this year...it was different. We almost didn't have time to enjoy our free time. Everything is coming back. Papers, presentations, classes, texts. I don't know why am I living and this question bores me to death. I don't know if literally (I hope NEVER literally at all) but I can't stand my concerns about society. Every single morning I stare at people at the bus stop, the street and what I see, I definetely don't like it.

I see I'm doing something I love: to study, to extend my literature and english knowledge but for what? I'm going to die someday, right? Sad, it is sad to think about this. For this specific reason I guess that people must keep a little bit of faith. I've lost mine a long time ago. I don't know how to feel friendship, sometimes I feel so distant from people that are with me everyday. I only trust few people, maybe I only trust me because what I feel it's real, there's no illusion in what I think and what I'm doing.

I don't know what this is about at all.

THE FROWZYS ON MYSPACE!

Finally, The Frowzys (the band that I make part of) released its first single on myspace!

Enjoy the song called "Living Life"!

The Frowzys' myspace.

Is that hard to accept things?

You know, for a long time, I've been running from ghosts that I had never the interest to know better. I know they exist but I can't face them, and when I'm alone I try so much to understand what I feel inside. It's not that simple because your life wants something and sometimes you don't have any idea how to do that.

I know that now, well much time ago actually, I'm a big girl. And the fact is that I don't need to do things that I judge so boring just because people think I have to behave like that. I won't.

I'll keep drinking a lot until I can't stand myself up, I'll keep listening rock songs and hanging out all night long with friends, talking shit, whatever. I don't give a fuck for that.

I should be like this, I should be like that. Doesn't matter. This is what I am and if I can't accept this so I better find out a way to match these two girls inside.

Happy b-day, your freakie one, your freakie thousand here inside.

=*

Say goodbye, 2009

Yes, it's almost the end of the year, actually I feel like this year is done.

It would be unfair say that it wasn't a good year. I've made a lot of things and I think I've been happy the most part of the time. It's a good reason to celebrate and to ask for a better year, a great 2010.

Cheers!

A little bit of books

I know I've been very far from here. The main problem is that I don't have much inspiration to think about something interesting and then put my ideas in the paper (?) so I just let it go.

But today, lucky people, I was thinking about the books I've read and I'm still reading (Crime and Punishment is one of them, YEAP, I haven't finished yet, what a shame!) and something came into my mind. Couple of days ago I read an Allan Poe's short story called The Imp of the Perverse and somehow I thought it was very alike with Dostoiévski's narrative. It is not easy to compare I don't know, twenty pages to five hundred but in the same way, these events have something in common: the mainly character can't keep his secret so he just let it go. I won't spoil the short story, but it's declared in the beginning of the Crime and Punishment that Raskolnikóv commits a murder. Then he thinks he can deal with that but he is totally wrong. It is something that he just can't keep quiet. I'm very close to finish this book and so far, the character is still suffering the pressure although he already told Sonia about what he did.

It's funny how they fall in love in this kind of narratives. In one day completely strangers and in the next morning "oh I'm in love"! I know it's pure fiction but it is interesting once we know the characters didn't have so much time to know themselves. Anyways, it isn't the focus of this narrative anyways. I think this love is just to ensure that besides everything, he can be a good man. He has something good inside.

All I'm trying to say (I don't know if I'm doing it properly) is that, somehow, in that old times, people had some kind of hope that, if you commit a crime, or if you just do something bad to the eyes of society and "God", if you're regreted, if you confess it is oukay. More than that, maybe this is the start to accept that people are not completely good or bad. They can be both. Sometimes best, sometimes worst, anyways, people have this two sides.

Is the forgiveness something so easy to achieve? Just claim couple of words and that's alright? I'll keep reading the book then I tell you if Raskolnikóv is acquited or not.

TREND'S NEW SONG ON MYSPACE!

I know this blog doesn't have much visitors though I believe now with a few different words you can find it easier when you google something like "freak", "diary" and "myspace" so I'm here just to talk about a band from Rio Grande that plays good music and now is releasing little by little three new songs. The first one is called "Offman" and you can listen to it on Trend's Myspace.

Enjoy it!