Through the darkness... you see the stars.

Hello people worldwide. It is a brand new day and it is still dark here. In the last few days, some specific things have been bothering me a little. Actually, not so specific things. I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable maybe it is what the narrator of Notes from Underground called the excess of consciousness that men go through sometimes. In some cases, I wish I could live my life without thinking so much about what I should be, where I should be now, doing this or that. The subject is always the same, right?

The fact is I'm trying (I don't remember since when) to stop suffering for foolish things. I won't hurt myself with troubles that are not mine. Few years ago, maybe three years, whatever, I heard some good words (I won't mention here where) that made me feel really better about my life. But now, it is like a disease. It comes and goes. I can't say I'm unhappy now... it would be stupid!

The only thing that matters is to keep a place for the real self. The real you. If this is the only space I've found to do this... great. It is what it is. My attic.

You should come over!

As Neil Young says... "time is running out, let's roll!"

:)

Fantastique

Atmosphere.

Skin.

Breathing.

Heart beating.

Magic.

Cat Power.

pic by mahhh

To love is to take care and to be patient.

Sometimes, you're the only one who really cares and need to be patient. Otherwise, there's no way to bear the load of being so alone.

Back to the clock's slavery

The university holidays are over. I'm really sad about that... I know, last year I was willing to attend the classes as soon as I could. But this year...it was different. We almost didn't have time to enjoy our free time. Everything is coming back. Papers, presentations, classes, texts. I don't know why am I living and this question bores me to death. I don't know if literally (I hope NEVER literally at all) but I can't stand my concerns about society. Every single morning I stare at people at the bus stop, the street and what I see, I definetely don't like it.

I see I'm doing something I love: to study, to extend my literature and english knowledge but for what? I'm going to die someday, right? Sad, it is sad to think about this. For this specific reason I guess that people must keep a little bit of faith. I've lost mine a long time ago. I don't know how to feel friendship, sometimes I feel so distant from people that are with me everyday. I only trust few people, maybe I only trust me because what I feel it's real, there's no illusion in what I think and what I'm doing.

I don't know what this is about at all.

THE FROWZYS ON MYSPACE!

Finally, The Frowzys (the band that I make part of) released its first single on myspace!

Enjoy the song called "Living Life"!

The Frowzys' myspace.

Is that hard to accept things?

You know, for a long time, I've been running from ghosts that I had never the interest to know better. I know they exist but I can't face them, and when I'm alone I try so much to understand what I feel inside. It's not that simple because your life wants something and sometimes you don't have any idea how to do that.

I know that now, well much time ago actually, I'm a big girl. And the fact is that I don't need to do things that I judge so boring just because people think I have to behave like that. I won't.

I'll keep drinking a lot until I can't stand myself up, I'll keep listening rock songs and hanging out all night long with friends, talking shit, whatever. I don't give a fuck for that.

I should be like this, I should be like that. Doesn't matter. This is what I am and if I can't accept this so I better find out a way to match these two girls inside.

Happy b-day, your freakie one, your freakie thousand here inside.

=*